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Your wedding guest list is one of the most critical aspects that will set the overall tone and size of your wedding. Deciding who to invite can be a stressful and detailed process that all couples must endure. This process can increase your level of stress and end friendship. However, there are ways to politely not invite persons in your life to your wedding guest list.

How do I politely not invite someone to my wedding?

You may find individuals, friends, and family who you wish not to or cannot invite to your wedding for several reasons. You can politely not ask someone for the following reasons:

• distant friend or family member with who you don’t have a close relationship
• a coworker that may not be on your “A” list
• relative that you barely know
• individuals and couples with children if you’re choosing a child-free wedding
• someone with a plus one and you have limited space at your wedding venues
• individuals with different values
• you simply don’t want them there

I know this list might seem a little evasive so let’s look a little deeper at the reasons why, who, and when you cannot invite someone to your wedding and hopefully retain your relationship or friendship.

First of all, let’s say you cannot invite someone to your wedding guest list.

There’s no way to get around the fact that if this happens, it is rude, and you will certainly destroy any relationship with that individual. If this individual is inclined and expects an invitation, they will undoubtedly be insulted at the missing invitation.

Avoid this strongly by not making off-the-cuff invites when talking with groups, friends, and family. While you might not strongly feel it at the time but this is an uncourteous response. It can set you up for heartache and stress down the road.

These friends or acquaintances will undoubtedly take offense to not being invited, especially if they feel a stronger bond with you.

Who should I not invite to my wedding guest list?

In almost all weddings, space is premium, and the guest list directly controls the cost of the celebration.

• Distant friends and relations are you are usually the first to be stricken from that all-important invitation list. However, be sure to consider your parent’s input as to the invitations of these individuals.
• Consider your relationship with this individual and how long it has been since you have last had contact.
• If it’s been months or years, you may want to consider omitting this person to help keep the guest list under control.

Coworkers are not a must on your wedding guest list.

While you might have fantastic working relationships with all of the individuals at your place of employment, space at your celebration is always a concern.

If you just can’t include these individuals, be upfront and let them know. Maybe you can choose another method to celebrate with this group. Take the time to keep communication open so you can share a celebration with this important group of individuals.

This separate celebration doesn’t mean that you can’t invite any of your coworkers. Evaluate your relationship with these individuals and decide on a person by person basis

People with loud and distracting personalities may not be a good fit for your wedding guest list.

While you may consider them friends, they may also exhibit actions that won’t fit with your wedding style. If you have any reservations about their personal actions, you should consider not inviting them to the wedding.

Maybe these individuals like to cause trouble or drink to access. Take this all into account and then make your decision. Remember, your wedding day combines happy emotions and stress. If you think that they could be a concern, then omit them from the final list.

Relatives and Friends of your parents or in-laws may not make the wedding guest list.

This decision can be difficult, especially if your parents or in-laws contribute to the overall cost of your celebration.

Sit down with your in-laws and parents and discuss why you would like to omit these people from your wedding guest list. Keep your parent’s feelings in mind as these people could be important and close to them.

Have a discussion and then decide which any or all of these individuals will not be invited celebration. Your parent’s input and feelings certainly are worth considering. Take the time to review this list and make a combined decision.

Another consideration for your wedding guest list are individuals or couples with children

If you have an all-adult wedding, it may be awkward for these individuals or friends to attend. If this is the case, discuss with these people and keep paths of communication open, especially if you consider them close friends.

Be upfront and let them know that your choice for your wedding celebration doesn’t include children. Being upfront and honest about your desires for your special day will help your friends to understand this decision.

Sometimes a plus one can be an awkward situation for the wedding guest list.

You simply may not have room at your venues to have this extra individual attend. While you might be close to one of the individuals, if they’re listing the person as a plus one, chances are you’re not that close, or you haven’t met this person.

Simply indicate to your friend that you are trying to keep the guest list intimate or that you have space restriction at your ceremony or reception venue location. This information will help to take some of the sting out of your decision not to invite this individual.

Sometimes you might not want to invite an individual based on religion or personal values.

In this situation, you’re trying to avoid an awkward situation and not putting them on the spot.

Religion or political views are curious items. However, they may not fit with your style of wedding. These beliefs may also be at odds with your form of ceremony.

Here, you are trying to balance your friend’s feelings and the style of your celebration so that no feelings are hurt.

Finally, you just might not want that person on your wedding guest list.

This situation can happen for many reasons. It doesn’t mean you don’t consider them a friend.

Maybe they tend to hang around with the wrong crowd or seem to cause trouble no matter where they go.

If you feel this individual will be a distraction at your celebration, then, by all means, feel free not to invite them. Chances are, these are your reasons, and you’re probably not as close as they might think.

How not to include someone in your wedding guest list

First and foremost, don’t send in a save-the-date card or a wedding invitation.

All of us know that wedding’s come with restrictions, whether Financial or size. Also, they may be relieved not to receive an invitation.

Tackle these situations with your friends as they come up. Don’t venture to call or contact everyone you feel removed from the wedding guest list.

Many of these individuals may be relieved not on the list. Or they may simply arrange a time to celebrate when you and your partner are available, either before or after the ceremony.

That said, if the individual you’re not inviting is a close family member or friend, then, by all means, contact them early on to help avoid hard feelings

While they may be disappointed or even hurt, they will most likely understand if you’re upfront and give them your valid reasons for your decision.

How do I politely not invite someone to my wedding?

Many individuals will reach out to you early, whether on social media or the phone, to hint or confirm that they’ll make the all-important wedding guest list.

Discuss your reasons for not inviting them to the wedding and by all means, keep it simple. Over the top and complicated explanations do nothing but to help create hard feelings

To help avoid some situations, never have conversations about your wedding planning in groups or crowds. Some of these individuals may feel that they will make the wedding guest list by participating in the discussion. Please keep it simple and keep the conversations between individuals that are on the final list.

Tell these friends my family members that you appreciate their interest. This appreciation is shown with either with a loving note or a simple phone call.

Remember, keep the excuse to the point and loving. Don’t create an elaborate reason for questioning at a later date.

Remember, you can’t uninvite someone to your wedding. This action is rude, and a confrontation is likely.

Another great way to not invite somebody to your wedding is simply not sending the save-the-date card or wedding invitation.

While the individual may be disappointed and may even contact you over this omission, this is your wedding, and you have control over who attends. Whether it’s for size restrictions for financial reasons or other reasons, this is your decision.

If you feel these people are close to you and you just cannot invite them, don’t simply ignore the situation.

Take the time to contact them on the phone. Let these friends know how difficult and unavoidable the decision was and why you came to the choice.  Hopefully, they will understand.

Have a good excuse if someone doesn’t make your wedding guest list.

Great excuses that you can use might focus on your wedding budget, finances, and the size of the venue.

For most of us, the wedding budget and finances are always a concern. Even if parents or in-laws are helping to foot the bill, there are restrictions on the amount of money available for spending on your celebration.

For this reason, you might choose to tell these individuals that you had to keep your wedding small for financial reasons.

Also, maybe your wedding needs to be smaller due to that perfect ceremony and reception venue. These locations specify exactly how many people they can accommodate. You may choose one of these locations based on your wedding theme or your love of the area.

Here, you may sacrifice the number of guests that will attend but will achieve that perfect wedding celebration.

Never send a save-the-date card. While this might not be an excuse per se, it is an indication that the individual has not made it onto the final guest list. The lack of notification will imply that they will not make the final wedding guest list.

Remember, it is extremely rude to uninvite someone to your wedding. This action will undoubtedly create headaches and hard feelings.

Reasons not to invite someone to the wedding guest list

Having a family-only wedding is also another reason not to invite someone to your wedding. This restriction is a perfect explanation to be sure the feelings are not hurt.

You might also plan an intimate wedding with a very small number of guests. This intimate wedding will most likely have a guest list of under 50 people. Therefore, you can’t invite everyone.

Another reason that you can give not to invite someone to your wedding is simply that you’re eloping or having a civil service.

In this situation, you might consider having an after-party or celebration once the knot is tied. Consider a Backyard BBQ or a potluck dinner. These are perfect alternatives to get friends and family together in a budget-friendly way.

If they send you a wedding gift, it doesn’t mean you have to invite them to the wedding.

If they’re taking the time to research and send you that perfect wedding gift, you’re still not obligated to put them on the guest list. They may offer this gift to cement their place on the list. However, your wedding restrictions may not allow you to add them to the final list. Keep to your guns here and offer appreciation.

Be thankful and show appreciation for the gift. Still, offer your reasons as to why they didn’t make the final list. Remember to be loving and kind.

Another way to help people from her having her feelings for not making the wedding guest list it’s to celebrate with them in another fashion.

I’ve discussed Backyard BBQ for potluck dinner. Maybe you can consider an activity such as this as our second reception. Here, include individuals that are close to you but simply didn’t make the final guest list. This option is an excellent method to save relationships and quell hurt feelings.

You can see that there are several methods not to invite someone to your wedding. Remember, if you are respectful and offer a concise reason, the majority of not-invited individuals will understand. Friendships and relationships saved, you can all enjoy the special day.

For another article here’s one about who does not wear wedding rings, click here to view our article.